I am Not a Baby Whisperer

I am Not a Baby Whisperer

It’s been a few hours since I got to your home. I’m here because you trust me, as a trained and certified caregiver for you and your baby. You’re resting– at last! And I’m holding your baby, rocking, bouncing, shushing, offering his bottle, a soother, trying one position then another. He’s still fussing. As your postpartum doula maybe I think I’m not any good at my job if I can’t immediately settle this sweet boy. But let’s be honest— I am not a baby whisperer.

I know you don’t expect this of me, but I kinda did, at the beginning anyway. See, I know lots about babies, how they’re formed, birthed, fed, grow—how they bond and communicate. But I don’t really know your baby. He is an individual person with unique needs limited to such an imprecise form of communication without language to aid him. You are just getting to know him here in the fourth trimester, and I, a stranger, respect and submit to that developing bond.

But I will watch, listen, learn— I will watch how you hold, feed, diaper and rock him— and while you are resting emulate those things so that his day feels as seamless as possible. I will listen to his cues and meet his needs as they arise, attentively and lovingly as if he were my own.

I may be an expert in the birth world but I am not an expert on your baby— only you are. I am here to support that unfolding motherhood in whatever ways you need, with all gentleness, respect for your space, routine, and parenting choices. And I want you to hear him cry or fuss while I care for him– I want you to know that you are doing it right because he does this for you too. There is no secret to baby care– just time and patience and getting to know someone for the first time. We all succeed by trial and error. I feel just as accomplished as you do when something suddenly works and I get to enjoy that toothless grin.

I enter your home to serve, to share knowledge and talk through how what we know about infant development and needs may apply to your unique family situation. I am here to listen to you vent, to laugh or cry with you. I am here to walk the floor with your babe as many times as he needs, to pace the same circles in your home you tread in the middle of the night, to fold laundry or wash dishes or whatever it is that you wish would just get done on its own— I can do that, so you can take a break.

I am here to support your postpartum healing, your mental wellness, holding on to your sense of self in the sea of early motherhood. I am not a baby whisperer– but I am your doula.

What kind of support did you receive in the early days home with baby?
Curious about postpartum care, or want to know more about how I can support you in any stage of your parenting journey? Let’s connect!


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